The River, owned by the beautiful Lucky_Miles, is a room like no other. The River is a beautiful cesspool of horrible people you will no doubt love. Upon entering the room, you will surely be bombarded by racism, hatred, and exploitation of your every slip up, as courtesty of the colorful group of regulars belonging to our River. Half of these regulars will spend most of their time complaining about how good the River used to be, while the others are all 12 and what is this. The River is obviously the best chatroom on Kongregate, but we have no credit for it.
The Regulars (Still under construction)Edit
Lucky_Miles (Miles, Lucky, Sir Miles)Edit
Lucky__Miles is the current owner of The River. Has an actual banhammer as well as his Kong Banhammer. Pretty much the biggest baller ever.
Buzzshock331 (Troll) Edit
Buzzshock is a troll who spends way too much time antagonising the regulars on The River. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a job (and I should be right because I am him)
Do not approach if you don't want to waste an hour discussing the merits of Hitler.
ShadowBlitz237 (Ana, Stasia, Blitz)Edit
Writer/author. She's always talking about her non-existant cock and constantly writing porn.
bluemenace (Chris, FishNerd, Blue)Edit
One of the last trolls of the river, and he's very in love with fish :3 The swimmy kind. Not FishFenly.
XxhazzelnuttaxX (Georgia, Hazz, ManiacalWindbag)Edit
Georgia... she's royalty in The River. No srsly. Everyone's attracted to her.
ArisaRaven (Arisa, Risa, Raven)Edit
Another author/writer from The River.
Drummermean (Drummer, Drumzy, Drum)Edit
Drummermean has been a regular for many years but missed out on a lot of the River's great history due to an extended break. He has now returned.
Hath been one Regular since the Fall of The year of Grace of our Lord MMVIII (XXVIII of December), and shallt be until The Great Sky crumbles and Slay us in the XXI th day of MMXII. Or perhaps for longer.
Hath been voted a God by Riverans in the very late month of February, MMVIII. But hath no true power.
Hath been killed by Bunnies in MMIX, hence is not killable anymore.
Nutter666 has being a regular in The River since 2008, as well as developing numerous games based on conversations in The River.
He's an oddity. He types with near-perfect spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and he has little understanding of the concept of "human emotion." He usually greets anyone who enters The River and is usually corteous to any and all for as long as he is not provoked, at which point his trolling knows no boundaries.
BigfootDaKing (Ben, Bigfoot)Edit
Ben, used to be popular, but since he refuses to talk to anyone much, has lost all popularity. Fortunately, he's still his old smart-ass self.
He's Irish, he's probably drunk, what else is there to say? Oh yeah he's gunna be a dad soon.. which is kinda cool... unless you're his kid.
DiablosDeAngel (Diablos, Dia, DDA)Edit
Entered The River randomly and became known due to Potatobandit and hazzelnutta, he is now a perverted love-able douchebag with morbid crude humor to anyone saying "My [relative] is dead".
Samanthaccp (Sam) Edit
Sam is the best. That is all.
- An ignorant piece of shit.
- Fails to spell simple words like "revealed" wrong. Because he/she/it is a dumbass and spells it "Revieled."
- This person doesn't understand the most simple things. It shames us all to be the same species as it.
- Disregard the above. He is lovely.
- Looks like someone is mad.
- Users marked with an asterisk are users that are slowly returning and are between Missing and Regular
This section is for all the great quotes from The River.
Most of these are outdated.
Buzzshock331: Let's discuss the merits of rape
what dafuq is going on
3leggedpup: Just so we're all clear, Brae's a cunt.
Alexiothemidget: Naw, it's just Siya.
Braelara: meant pup's
Zak7062: And the Lord said LET THERE BE LIGHT! and Zak said o.o okay okay you dont have to shout!!!
caboosereturns: And Cab Said CLAMMIT! You BOTH SHOULD BE WORKING!
caboosereturns: Then Zak slapped him and told him to stop pretending he was the boss.
KoalaBars: Also, we can discuss sexism, the mods are away and Koalas will play
timmilemons: RACHEL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD
McIntosh: \w mcintoshfail I’m after rachel in the most sexual of ways
Sarah345: MAKE ME A SAMMICH
DrewEntreri: Three Whore Five…I don’t know how long ago you requested that I make your sammich, but I’m back on now…What kind would you like?
KoalaBars: IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD LIT VAGINA TO MY FIRE RACHEL
KoalaBars: Erin is like
KoalaBars: The happiest panda in africa
KoalaBars: Ok…so appreatnyl while drtunls
FR35HPRINC3Of10: ii have a 3.4 gpa' McIntosh: Not hard to do in special ed classes.
dragonreborn567: No… No, you go with it. I want ANSWERS!
samanthaccp: YOU ARE GAY! YOURMOTHER HATES YOU! YOU WERE ADOPTED! samanthaccp: AND THE WORLD IS TRYING TO KILLL YOOUUUU o.o
DrewEntreri: Am I the only person that was not turned into a zombie?' AbsoluteYin: I wasn’t. Now it’s up to us to repopulate the world. DrewEntreri: Oh….quit trying to get me into bed with you.
werewolf505050: Alright eibot, I need you to go get a rope and a chair, and maybe even a buddy to help you out with this one. I’m gonna get you a link on how to hang yourself, because it would just be helping us all out.
MarsIsHere: How come I don’t have any qoutes on your profile MarsIsHere: ? Sarah345: give me one. MarsIsHere: **** you. Sarah345: quoted.
schwerganoik: I can’t decide / whether you should live or die / Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven / please don’t hang your head and cry schwerganoik: No wonder why / my heart is dead inside / cold and hard and petrified / lock the doors and close the blinds / we’re going for a ride
Realisation: When there’s something wrong / In the neighbourhood
EmosBleed: But WHO THE **** ARE YOU
bobby87412: do you use completely correct grammar when you’re texting your friends? RPGLord: No, Bobby, I ignore them.
AbsoluteYin: Worse things have happened in a democracy.
GeneralRed: You know, if Carmen SanDiego and Waldo, had a kid, No one would ever find it.