Earth - Mostly Harmless Edit

Mostly Harmless was a popular chat room on Kongregate, featuring a number of regular users, moderators, and admins. The room is currently owned by rawismojo, one of the badge creators on Kongregate, who received ownership of the room from AlisonClaire in November 2012. It has the room id number 13. After years of decline, the room merged with Feed the Ducks on October 21, 2016.


Mostly Harmless formally belonged to AlisonClaire, who was awarded the room by Jim in early 2008. Previously named 'Castles Must Die,' Alison opted to rename it after Earth's description in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." This caused over-exaggerated anger among the room's regulars (none of whom are still around today), but most have since come to appreciate the name.

Rules and ExpectationsEdit

If you DO decide to visit us (and we encourage that you do), please respect the following unwritten rules which are now written:

  • Our rights to read comprehensive English (and not 'OHGAWD,MYPOOREYES!' writing),
  • The Kongregate Code of Conduct (which is ALWAYS a stimulating read)
  • No idiots
  • No sobers
  • No mangled English
  • No irony
  • No earl grey with cream
  • No lists

The rules are always in effect, though consequences range from harsh to fleeting. Edit

The rules are subject to change (this is, after all, a Wiki page).

Admins & ModeratorsEdit


Our Dvice in Minnesota,

hallowed be thy name.

Your room come,

your will be done on kong as in the heaven.

Give us this day or daily ban,

and forgive us our spam

as we also have forgotten our spammers.

And lead us not into kindergarten,

but deliver us from kids.


Quote: dan_dare: Well it could be worse.

??????: The Prophet Quasi has foretold of a new Mod.


Works in the game industry, overall awesome guy.

Former ModeratorsEdit

LeavesCat: The Cat is short for Caterpillar.

Sweetywrapper: Is only a Sweety when she's a Sweety, but when she's not Sweety she's just a Wrapper. ^_^

No longer a mod, but everyone loves her enough that if she says we're silenced, we stop talking for an hour out of respect and love.

Takumashii: Thrown from his place of glory in late 2013. Legend foretells of the return of Takumashii, the deity of Mostly Harmless. He will come again to judge both the trolls and the jerks. We are forever watchful.

AlisonClaire: Alison Claire Huffman, a staff member of Kongregate working out of the San Francisco office. Enjoys long walks on the beach, being called 'Ali', and setting her status to 'away' whenever possible. No fawning, stalking or nudging. We will defend her till our dying breath.

  • "Fyoosh" "The lamest person ever" - Teakettle
  • Quotes: AlisonClaire: I'm not into tentacle porn enough to work for NG
  • AlisonClaire: I'm a beard racist.

CometShade: Oldest regular, the one who used to makes it 'Mostly'.

Last seen 2013, presumed wandering around with no idea where he is.

plujan: He's actually a physicist at CERN.

rawismojo: Kong's newest badge adder, working closely with Greg to keep the Kongregate gears spinning.

Apparently this job keeps him away from the room he owns, in fact, if it weren't for this wiki we wouldn't know who owned the room anymore. -ed


If you are a regular (not a semi-regular or seriously-abnormal) and would like to add yourself to this list of awesome, kindly place yourself in proper alphabetical order according to username.
Kindly refrain yourself from editing someone else's description to give them a bad reputation.

Cal010: Yadda yadda, funny comment, nobody is really reading this anyway. I'm pretty much the only person keeping this page up to date. Been a regular of MH since 2008. 

Cal's comment timing is flawless. Also a liar. Hojar is the only one updating this wiki. Actually, it's Dan. 

dan_dare: MH's resident Australian crabass and all around fun guy. A beer connoisseur (sic). Ask him about Coopers and how delicious it is.

  • Quote:  Look, don't expect some kind of bromance bonding moment here.  The show wasn't that good.


Really loves dairy. Pansexual, but prefers stainless steel to cast iron. 

  • Quote: DQ: Named such because she has tits like a cow.

fartist: Regular since 2008. That's about it. Funnier than you.

GentleMancer: Or Bart to his friends - which is everyone, in his opinion. Bart seems convinced that the world stopped in the late 1890's and he hasn't aged, drank, dated, or had sex with a woman since. He talks kind of nice, though. He wants to be called Barton: it will never happen. Formerly BartanSpartan. Always pleasant. 

  • Quotes: Lisamarie- "You're so nice, I just sort of want to punch you in the face all the time."

hojar: A sexy man beast of epic proportions. The 'h' is never capitalized. Doesn't believe there are women on the internet. Don't tell him otherwise. Old school troller of Taku, one of the first regulars of the page. Migrated to MH in the archaic era of 2008.


Misanthrope. If he didn't exist, Elmore Leonard would have invented him.

  • Quote: kinghorse: I'm not on the wiki and am genuinely happy about that

ktrout42: Keeping the world safe from angry pangry people in MH. Capable Journey singer. 

  • Quote: ktrout42: No u

Powerfrog: That one kid that is a talking porno.

Quasi: The Dutch ambassador to MH, occasially has flashes of comedic brilliance. Usually makes terrible puns.

  • Qutoe: MCOBigBen: Kong is a very tumor friendly establishement
  • Quote: Quasi: Explains all the cancer in here.

SarcasticQueen: Queen of Sarcasm. Those unworthy of her attention will be kicked in the teeth and she's tall enough to reach them every time.

  • Quote:I might as well go back to that room full of really nice lesbians. 
  • Quote:Eat a big bag of wiggly dicks. Big. Wiggly. Dicks. 

Yamiro: The one time Zombie of Mostly Harmless, has infected countless others without their knowledge. Also pretty good at killing chat. "Percy"

  • Quote: Yamiro: hey look a troll, i'm gonna sharpen my crowbar and then we go to town on it.

Former Regulars Edit

A wall of fame for some of the people that once made Mostly Harmless the great room it was. Any Regs on this list who turn up before the 17th of March 2015 will be reinstated on the regulars list. Otherwise, they are doomed to stay here forever -ed.


One the most annoying people, according to Takumashii. (from someone that apparently is NOT Takumashii)

  • Quote: afatpaws: hell is a world where hoby is your best friend
  • Quote: afatpaws: *pokes dead chat with a stick*

Bephwyn: Might be a boy, might be a girl. No one's completely certain.

Cgaan: The middle guy of the room, not troll nor saint, It's like jilli and jroxx had babies together.

  • Cgaan: killed a molester.

Wolfmilf: C’mon, molesters do no harm. Only good. Why didn’t my female teacher molest me when I was a kid? :/

Takumashii: because you’re ugly.

  • Famous Quote: Cgaan: ...

“Cgaan: Im sooooo going to invade you AC

AlisonClaire: why am I killing sheeps D:

Cgaan: And pwn u

MCOBigBen: That sounds reeeeaaallly dirty, Cgaan

Cgaan: ….

“Cgaan: Stop being so enthusiastic guys.


DeathbyTeacup21: Known as Teac, Tea, DBT, Teacup, 21 or Death, she's (that's right! I said she!) a lurker part time. She has opinions that could eat clear through countertops. She's a friend to all and almost always too nice for her own good. Stick by her and you'll have a friend for life, no matter where you live.

Cgaan: But, teac, those are the ellipses of death!

DivineMyst: Counts for two people. Because she is pregnant. Get it? The fetus is the other person. [Pregnant Joke]

fritzwhistle: Possibly the oldest person on the internet. He's at least 40 YEARS OLD. If he seems high or drunk in chat, he most likely is.

Guszy: Technically, Guszy has been a regular for longer then CometShade, by nine days. Guszy is in the band Survay Says!, with Xubnormal as his groupie. Winwinwe is his second man, other then Edward Norton.

Sometimes referred to as Gussie. He is a White Knight. He also has read the five Hitchhiker's Guide books.

  • Quote: Guszy: Would you like to know the secret to Xub's pants?
  • Quote: Hojar: what? did you tap that?
  • Quote: Guszy: No it's Ed Norton.
  • Quote: Hojar: And how do you know this is the secret?
  • Quote: Guszy: She is hot though.
  • Quote: Hojar: Totally.
  • Quote: Guszy: Try asking if Ed Norton was with you, would she sex you.

Haskey96: A normally cool and persistent advocate of KoL. 

  • Quote: haskey96: os, that sounded very british of you.
  • Quote: osiris6607: How did i sound british?
  • Quote: haskey96: osiris6607: I am going to take the old trolly down to flhem hannigans to buy a small treat for myself. *Fixes monicle*

Hoby: The awesome trobbit of awesome. BE AFRAID.

FACT: Hoby is jizztastic.?

  • Quote: Spivsy: it's fun when people try to make hoby feel remorse; it never works

Jakeem4: That one guy who nobody notices... *sob* Though you may not notice him he is always watching over.

LeavesCat: He exists. Enough said. Also, not to be confused with "leave scat" (and leavesscats, and leavesscat, and get the point - there were a lot of those trolls).

Lisamarie: Makes blue meth in her RV in Albuquerque. Also babycrazy.

mattmeister: I'll add my information here later. I may not be here in MH as much as I used to, but I've logged more hours there than most of you new folk. 'Specially that Haskey fellow. He's always given me too much trouble.

Jesster_King: Likes to discuss things in the chat unless the game he's playing needs his full attention. He tries to be funny all the time but fails often. Very often. Never heard a funny thing from him yet.

  • Quote: firzen561: I kill the chat like I aint scared of trial!

Quote: Jesster_King: No, you kill chat like you don't comprehend that everyone ****ing hates you

  • Quote: Jan1paul: is there a like button here? or a thumbs up button?
  • Quote: firzen561: I dunno but I think jesster deserves it

Jess learnt the importance of commas the hard way:

YourPetSumo: Owlman is lame. YourPetSumo: That clip was lame YourPetSumo: I want my life back. Jesster_King: no one is stopping you from fapping YourPetSumo YourPetSumo: Ew, why would I fap my pet sumo? Isn't that animal abuse? chefrose: LOL

YourPetSumo: This is exactly why commas are important.

RealNoNamer: I'm that guy that listens in on the chats and talks about one or less times day

Spivsy: Spivsy sells things on the black market. And the white market. He's not racist.

  • Quote: Spivsy: everything I say is comedy gold.
  • Quote: Spivsy: poor people give me gas
  • Quote: Spivsy: he's badmouthing shadow?! That does it! *rolls up sleeves* ow, the cold hurts my arms :(
  • Quote: Spivsy: twilight should have got 90 oscars
  • Quote: Spivsy: best movie ever
  • Quote: Spivsy: because I honestly don't give a flying shit about what falls out of your significant others vagina
  • Quote: Spivsy: When I imagine Cgaan as a baby, he looks exactly the same, just with a baby's body.

stjimmy61892: Possibly one of the biggest troll-haters in the entire MH community. Enjoys interacting with them however, just for entertainment.

  • Quote: stjimmy61892: if you eat ovaries, you need to seek help IMMEDIATELY.
  • Quote: stjimmy61892: omg we're having a facebook friend request whorefest! XD

tallstar5: tallstar5 is god. A slightly dyslexic god, but still god. He's got over 9,000 alts, and overuses overused memes quite frequently.

Favorite sayings: "Derp," "NO U," and "your mother"

  • Quote: tallstar5: What trick, what device, what starting hole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame?
  • Quote: hojar: You yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am if like a crab you could go backward.
  • Quote: I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away you moldy rogue, away!

winwinwe: Closet furry. Won't admit it to anyone.

  • Quote: Indix: I received and enjoyed it greatly.

Wolfmilf: That awesome guy from those islands nobody knows about. Also, hojar's former mother.

  • Quote: Wolfmilf: Damn, I wish I had Microsoft lab goggles which would project this chat on my retina.

Wolfmilf: Then I could chat when brb'ing

Wolfmilf: brb, smoke

Wolfmilf: ...coming from my kitchen

  • Quote: Wolfmilf: I have awesome quotes, but I can't remember any of them. So I just put something lame I'm saying at the moment

xirmi: If the word xirmi doesn't explain it, I don't know what will. (Note, that nobody can actually find the meaning of the name xirmi.)

  • Quote: xirmi: I'm the only one who hasn't said anything.

Xubnormal: Shadow's secret lover.

  • Quote: Xubnormal: Dangit. You made me snorfle.

YourPetSumo AKA bloodredsumo:

Came, saw, trolled, tamed, now takes care of noobs.

FACT: Sumo has a sexy-man voice. It's very british and almost as jizztastic as Hoby, but not quite.♥

FACT: Chee-chee wrote this ^ Because clearly nobody has heard Cgaan's voice. Except xubbles.

One of the resident trolls, he now mostly used his powers for good, and doesn't troll as hard as he once did, it may be do to growing up and maturing or it could be because it has cost him his orignal and his most beloved account name BloodRedSumo and the many alts he would utilize while BloodRedSumo was silenced.

Favourite GamesEdit

Mostly Harmless has a couple of games which are particularly popular among its regulars.

Reading RecommendationsEdit

Most of Mostly Harmless's inhabitants are quite literate. These are a few good reads a couple of us recommend to any and all persons who happen upon this page.


The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series:

  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
  • The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
  • Life, the Universe and Everything
  • So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
  • Mostly Harmless
  • Young Zaphod Plays it Safe
  • And Another Thing...

Golden Compass Trilogy:

  • The Golden Compass
  • The Subtle Knife
  • The Amber Spyglass

A Song of Ice and Fire Series:

  • A Game of Thrones
  • A Clash of Kings
  • A Storm of Swords
  • A Feast for Crows
  • A Dance with Dragons

Night Watch Series:

  • Night Watch
  • Day Watch
  • Twilight Watch

Foundation Series:

  • Prelude to Foundation
  • Foundation
  • Foundation and Empire
  • Second Foundation
  • Foundation's Edge
  • Foundation and Earth
  • Forward the Foundation

Maximum Ride Series:

  • The Angel Experiment
  • Schools Out- Forever
  • Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports
  • The Final Warning
  • MAX
  • FANG


  • Fight Club
  • Choke
  • Interview with the Vampire
  • Gravity's Rainbow
  • The Plague
  • American Gods
  • The Things They Carried
  • Flags of Our Fathers
  • Everybody Poops
  • Transmetropolitan

Awful puns made in the room:Edit

Quasi: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
LoganB42: Nice to sea you?
Quasi: No, it just waved.
Quasi: Water you doing?
karatekicks: just floating from job to job?
fartist: these jokes are insalting
Quasi: Whale done sir, whale done.
karatekicks: should we walk to a different tuna?
Quasi: This is getting out of sand. PazDaemon: Cod dam it, those are awful puns.
Quasi: Oh buoy, I shrimply can't think of any more. karatekicks: neither can i, i'm floundering just trying
Quasi: Clam we take a break? karatekicks: one sec, i gotta go take a shark
Quasi: I just don't eel like it has a porpoise anymore.

Quasi: Did he seriously just went to take a carp? karatekicks: can be more pacific?
fartist:i can't believe what i'm herring

Quasi:If you can think of more, let minnow.
karatekicks: i'm just urchin for more
fartist: sry, didn't mean to clam up
Quasi: I'm sardine to have trouble remembering what words we used...
karatekicks: you otter try harder
fartist:but a good ouch
fartist:seal what i did there?
Quasi:Trying to come up with new ones is a pain in the brass..
karatekicks:i'm getting anchored
karatekicks: what did the sea cucumber say to the anemone?
Quasi:Exscuba me, do you know the time?

Webcomic RecommendationsEdit

Once again, just like the above booklist, here are Mostly Harmless's recommendations for webcomics worthy of your attention.

[1] xkcd

[2] Sinfest

[3] Least I Could Do

[4] Dresden Codak

[5] Looking For Group

[6] Questionable Content

[7] Dr. McNinja

[8] Slackerz

[9] Three Panel Soul

[10] Rock-Paper-Cynic

[11] Pictures for Sad Children

[12] Daisy Owl

[13] Saturday Morning Breakfast-Cereal

[14] Moe

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.