Memoir Text Adventure - a text based simulation of life.



You choose gender, first and last name. Then games rolls stats for you (levels are below).


Goal is to reach age 130 (although Good Ending is earlier).


Unlocked after few scenes.

  • Encynclopedia - +1 int, costs 500
  • Weight Set - +1 str, costs 500
  • Cologne/perfume - +1 att, costs 500
  • Tuxedo - +1 cha, costs 500
  • Painkillers - +5 health, costs 500
  • Medical kit - +10 health, costs 1000
  • Experimental operation - +50 health, can cause death, costs 5000


(Note:This section is incomplete, some levels of stats are missing) There are five stats, Health, Intelligence, Attractiveness, Strength and Charm.

  • Health - The main stat. If it is depleted, you lose because of health drop. There are only 2 levels, Healthy and Unhealthy.
  • Int - Retarded->Dumb->Average->Smart->Genius
  • Att - Fugly->Ugly->Below average->Average->Above Average->Attractive->...->Hot->Beautiful
  • Str - Feeble old man->Weakling->Weak->Able->Firm->Strong->Body builder->Hard as nail->Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Cha - Social outcast-> repulsive-> Irritating-> Displeasing->Cool->Charming->Delightful->Life of the party


(Note:This section is incomplete, just fill in the actions after every button).

Scene 1Edit

Do you want to come out?

  • No. (continues to Scene 1b)
  • Come out fighting. (Strength increases, +1000 credits)
  • Come out peacefully. (Charm increases, +1000 credits)

Scene 1bEdit

Come on now. You've been in there for 9 months. Today's the day. Are you sure you want to stay?

  • Yes I want to stay. (Health Drop, Strength Drop, +1000 credits)
  • Okay, I'll come out peacefully. (Charm increases, +1000 credits)
  • Okay, I'll come out fighting. (Strength increases, +1000 credits

Scene 2 (Infant age)Edit

You see your parents trying to get your attention. What do you do?

  • Cry. (Intelligence drop)
  • Try this walking thing. (Intelligence increase)
  • Ignore them. (Nothing happens)

Scene 3Edit

It's the middle of the night, and after a few weeks of studying your cot you feel as if you can climb it and get out! You like the sound of glorious freedom!

  • Attempt to climb out. (If successful, nothing positive, but if failed, Health drop)
  • Go back to sleep. (Intelligence increase)
  • Chicken out. (Nothing)

Scene 4Edit

It's your friend's birthday. He is your friend right? Anyway, being a toddler still, you feel mischievous.

  • Push birthday boy's face in the cake. (If successful, Charm increase. If failed, Charm drop)
  • You urinate in the punch. (Charm drop)
  • Do nothing because you're a good kid. (Charm increase)

Scene 5 (Child age)Edit

It's your first day of school. After a short class you are let outside for a break. What do you do?

  • Talk to your classmates. (If Charm is high enough, Charm increase)
  • Wait for someone to talk to you. (If Charm is high enough, Charm increase)
  • Play on your own. (If Charm is high enough, Charm increases)

Scene 6Edit

The teacher announces a school play. She asks the class to raise their hands to apply for a certain part.

  • Apply for the lead part. (If Intelligence is high enough, Charm increase)
  • Apply for the lesser parts. (Nothing happens)
  • Fake being sick. (If Charm is high enough, Intelligence drop. If Charm isn't high enough, Strength drop)

Scene 7Edit

Your dad leaves a box of matches in a drawer. He has told you never to play with them. Today he is washing his car out of sight. Do you play with fire?

  • Strike a match. (Chance of death)
  • Just look at the box. (Intelligence increase)
  • Nah, too dangerous. (Health and Intelligence increase)

Scene 8 (Age 9)Edit

You're in bed. It's the middle of the night. Suddenly you hear a noise. The kids at school have told you about a monster that hides under your bed and eats 9-year old kids.

  • Get your baseball bat and take on that monster. (If Strength is high enough, Intelligence increase)
  • Go back to sleep, there's no monster. (If Intelligence is high enough, Health increase)
  • DAD! DAD! HELP! (If Strength was high enough to take on the monster, no bonus. Otherwise, Intelligence increase)

Scene 9Edit

At school you're talking to some friends. This big kid pushes you. This kid is the school bully. You push him back. He says he's going to beat you up after school. This is very cliche. Are you going to turn up?

  • Of course I am. (If Strength is high enough, no positive effect. If Strength is too low, Health drop, Charm increase)
  • Maybe I can convince him not to. (If Charm is high enough, trouble averted. If Charm is too low, Health drop)
  • No. I'm going to run. (Nothing)

Scene 10Edit

You're walking home from school and you see an old man in a van. He stops you and tells you he has some candy in his van. This sounds very suspicious. What now?

  • Run! (Nothing)
  • I want some candy. (If Intelligence is too low, death)
  • Run away and tell your parents. (Intelligence increase)

Scene 11 (Age 12; Unlocks Shop)Edit

You're at the age where you're having crushes. 3 as a matter of fact. 3 people. Who do you want to date?

  • Sam, Scruffy and Ugly (Nothing)
  • Jane, Plain (If Attractiveness is high enough, Charm increase)
  • Kate, Attractive (If Attractiveness is high enough, Charm increase)

Scene 12Edit

At school, someone passes you a note in class. The teacher notices and asks you to read out the note. The message is quite embarrassing.

  • Read it out in full. (If Charm is high enough, Charm increase)
  • Pretend to read out the note. (If Intelligence is high enough, Charm increases)
  • Refuse. (If Charm is high enough, no positive effect. If Charm is too low, Charm drop and slight Intelligence increase)

Scene 13Edit

You're at a supermarket with a friend. He slips some video games in his pocket. He tells you, "They don't check kids."

  • Do the same. Free games? Hell yes! (If Strength is high enough, nothing. If Strength is too low, Charm drop)
  • Convince him to stop. (If Charm is high enough, stops him from stealing. If Charm is too low, no longer friends)
  • Don't say anything and walk away. (He assaults you, slight Health drop)

Scene 14 (Teen age; Unlocks Relationships) Edit

Seeing as you're a rebellious young teen you want to do something that will annoy your parents. What will you do?

  • Play music really loudly. (Nothing)
  • Party all night. (Slight Health drop)
  • Start smoking. (Nothing)

Scene 15 Edit

Your best friend asks to borrow something of yours. This particular object is quite valuble to you. Do you let them borrow it?

  • Of course. They're my best friend. (Nothing)
  • No. (Nothing)
  • Ask for something in return. (+Intelligence)

Scene 16 Edit

How's this for a cliche situation? A bunch of people in your class decide to skip lessons and go to the beach. Will you join them?

  • Surfs up, dudes! (Everyone is at school, Intelligence drop)
  • I don't like the beach, but I'll skip school too. (Everyone is at school)
  • But Mrs. Jones is going to teach us nuclear fusion. (Everyone is at the beach)

Scene 17 (Age 17; Unlocks Part time jobs) Edit

You're invited to a party. There's going to be alcohol there. Let's not forget you're underage. Are you going to go?

  • No. (Charm drop)
  • I'll go but I won't drink. (Nothing)
  • I'm going to get so wasted. (Alcohol poisoning, death)

Scene 18 Edit

An attractive girl has come on to you during a house party. They lead you to an empty room with an empty bed. Neither of you have a condom. What now!

  • Do without a condom. (Chance of teenage pregnancy, followed by suicide)
  • Run to the chemists as fast as you can. (Chance of either way, nothing)
  • Try asking your friends downstairs if they have one. (Chance of either way, nothing)

Scene 19 Edit

You've been approached by someone who works in the model industry. They give you a business card. Will you give them a call?

  • Easy money for standing in front of a camera? Of course.
  • Let me do a bit of research before I commit to this. (Nothing)
  • Decline by throwing the card away. (Nothing)

Scene 20 (Young adult age; Unlocks Full time jobs) Edit

You're walking down a rough area when a man jumps you. He is armed with a knife and he demands your money. How do you handle this?

  • Try to wrestle the knife from him. (If Strength is high enough, nothing. If else, death)
  • Give him your wallet. (Lose money)
  • Run. (Mugger attacks you, lowering Attractiveness and Health)

Scene 21 Edit

You pick up some lunch and a desperate homeless man blocks your path. He asks for food.

  • Give him the lunch you just bought. (Hobo gets saved)
  • Give him money instead. (Hobo gets alcohol)
  • "Begone, peasant!" then push him away. (Hobo kills himself if Strength is too high)

Scene 22 Edit

You've been out drinking with friends. How do you get home? It isn't far by car but it's an hour walk.

  • Taxi. (Lose 25 money)
  • Get your equally drunk friend to drive you home. (If Intelligence high enough, nothing, else death)
  • Walk. (Nothing)

Scene 23 Edit

You decide to enter a competition. Seems like a legit one too. All you need to do is answer this question: "Which planet is farthest away from the sun?

  • Pluto. (Nothing)
  • Neptune. (Gain 100 money)
  • Mars. (Nothing)

Scene 24 Edit

You find a lump on your leg. You're concerned this may be a sign you have cancer. Do you check up with the doctors?

  • Set up an appointment ASAP. (It is just a cyst)
  • Forget about it and hope for the best. (Turns out to be cancer, death)
  • Prod it. (Nothing)

Scene 25 Edit

Some teenagers are sitting in your front garden. They're looking for trouble. How do you get rid of them?

  • Walk outside and tell them to p**s off. (Attack, unless Strength high enough)
  • Try and convince them to go away. (If Charm is high enough, nothing)
  • Pretend you never saw them and wait for them to go. (Nothing)

Scene 26 Edit

You go on holiday to Las Vegas. You enter a casino. What do you play? Your intelligence can get you far.

  • Slot machines. (Chance of money gain or loss)
  • Roulette. (Chance of money gain or loss)
  • Blackjack. (If Intelligence is high enough, you get money)

Scene 27 Edit

Two of your friends, Joe and Kerry (who are a couple) are arguing in front of you. Kerry thinks Joe spends too much time at work. Joe says he wouldn't have to work so hard if Kerry got a job.

  • Take Joe's side. (Nothing)
  • Take Kerry's side. (Nothing)
  • Try to find a compromise. (Nothing)

Scene 28 Edit

A famous TV drama is being filmed in your area. They are looking for extras, attractive extras or intelligent actors. If all goes well you could be a new character for their next series. Will you apply?

  • Yes as an extra. (If Attractiveness, is high enough, you get nothing)
  • Yes as an actor. (If Intelligence, is high enough, you get nothing)
  • I'd rather not. (Nothing)

Scene 29 (Adult age) Edit

You enter another competition. The question is: "Where in the body is the labyrinth?"

  • The mouth. (Nothing)
  • The nose. (Nothing)
  • The ear. (Get money)

Scene 30 Edit

You're at a dinner party. Everyone is talking and you cannot get a word in. Once the conversation is over you try to think of a topic. What will it be?

  • The weather.
  • Recent news.
  • Sex. (0_o)

Scene 31 Edit

You're looking a little flabby. You decide to go to the gym to lose a bit of weight. What gym machine will you use?

  • I'm fine with who I am. [don't go to the gym]
  • Treadmill.
  • The big scary machine near the back.

Scene 32 Edit

You find a job offer in the paper that are looking for people to appear in a shampoo advert. This time you research it before hand and they're a legit company. Do you go audition?

  • No.
  • Yes.
  • Check out the other participants to see if you're qualified.

Scene 33 Edit

You're walking around in a rough area when a gang of six youths follow you. They stop you and prepare to fight you. You have no chance against all 6 of them. Try to protect yourself during the fight rather than go on the offense.

  • Protect the face.
  • Protect the body. (health drop)
  • Try to protect both your head and body.

Scene 34 Edit

You're feeling down. No, worse then down. You're depressed and lately you've been having suicidal thought. You want to end it all. Do you go through it?

  • No. (Nothing)
  • Yes. (Suicide)
  • I'm better than this. (Nothing)

Scene 35 (Old age) Edit

You're old now. It may be time to take a visit to the doctors.

  • Don't patronise me. I'm fit as a fiddle.
  • No thanks I'm fine.
  • Sure it can't hurt.

Scene 36 Edit

You're at the bus stop. It's been a long day. While waiting for the bus to come along, a group of teenagers appear and wait at the bus stop too. You don't trust them. Are your thoughts justified?

  • Those damn kids are probably up to something.
  • I'll just make sure I'm far away from them on the bus.
  • I'm just being paranoid.

Scene 37 Edit

How's it going you oldie. Got a flat cap hat yet? Are you complaining about just about writing?

  • Now just wait a second. I'm old but I'm no stereotype.
  • Being old isn't great but can you stop going on about it?
  • Ah shut up and get off my lawn.

Scene 38 Edit

So how are you with technology? Do you sometimes impress younger generations with your tech knowledge? Or do you have difficulty using a regular toaster.

  • I can handle anything.
  • I'm a bit OK with tech.
  • My toaster has too many buttons on it anyway.

Scene 39 Edit

You're walking around a large park. Life seems grand. What do you want to do? There's a few chess boards near the pond, some ducks on the other side of the pond and there's a swing set nearby.

  • Play chess.
  • Feed the ducks.

Scene 40 Edit

You've applied to be on a TV quiz show. You were accepted into the quiz. The enthusiastic host asks you the final question: "For 20,000. What was Ringo Starr's original name?"

  • Ryan Star. (You aren't supposed to know)
  • Richard Starky. (You aren't supposed to know)
  • George Harrison. (You aren't supposed to know)

Final Scene Edit

This is it. You've got so far but you're only human. You're 130 years old. The longest recorded living person. You're on your deathbed with family and friends. You made a will two weeks ago. Who did you give your wealth to?

  • My family.
  • My friends.
  • Charity.