Because really. They deserve their own page.

Those EnlistedEdit


One of the less energetic Knights, he generally sits back and watches until something bad happens. There have been speculations that he doesn't actually exist as a three dimensional being.


SirShafts is a Commodore and the current temporary leader of the Knights of Greed in the absence of SirShakes and SirSharks. He historically has been known as the incompetent commander of Greed's zeppelin GNS Avarice. Other than shafting his enemies (and friends), he enjoys spending his free time smoking his pipe and reading various treatise on philosophy.


Complete douche. The original Sir, as well as the General. As such, leads the Knights of Greed to konquest absolutely nothing and give everybody a headache. Try to touch pinkNERD and he'll reign down upon you with the thunderous fury of a hundred thousand keystrokes with such scathing intensity that you will feel your very soul burn.


The Brigadier, and second in command, of the Knights of Greed (A.K.A. Brotherhood of Sirs). Enjoys pointing out that he is a shark, and as such has twice the genitalia any man could hope to have, known as "claspers".


Yet another member of the Sirs. Grows lengthy facial/pubic hair every ten minutes resulting in him having to shave constantly. He enjoys Shaving himself and others also being shaved by others.


Sergeant Major of the Knights of Greed. Sheets says he's just pretending to be a ghost, but I'm not so sure…


The newest recruit to the Sir Brigade, and as such he has only attained the rank of Private. Tends to shout a lot, especially when excited.


One of the newest Knights, but also one of the most promising. Has already taken the rank of Colonel. Astounds people with his sharp wit and lack of enthusiasm.


I swear it's not racist. Colonel of the Knights of Greed alongside SirShrugs. Quite clever and quick-witted, though it might not always show through his accent and stereotypical tendencies. All right, I lied, it's a little racist.


Enjoys snacking and evading the word filter, much to the dismay of his brothers. Still one of the better Knights. Has been MIA for some time now.


He's a ghost, nobody is really sure how he died, apparently not even himself. Reports range from treason to getting eaten by a SirSharks. He is a Major of the Knights of Greed.


Captain in the Knights of Greed's Naval fleet. He enjoys the smell of fish, and tentacle-rape. He has also been known to ink people when threatened.


Another new recruit. Though an inexperienced knight, he has endless experience with being stanky.


Lieutenant Colonel of the Knights of Greed. One of the few that doesn't take every opportunity to force a pun about his name.




Watermelon that wants to be a watermelon flavoured hard candy, and Admiral of the Knights of Greed. Enjoys making puns involving the word sweet.

The Fallen SirsEdit

Here are the Sirs felled in battle, perma'd in the name of Greed. As of this writing, poor SirShucks is the only casualty of a war he didn't start. He was the first, we pray he be the last.


An odd one to be sure, one of the several Sirs. Unlike the others, with a personality coinciding with their given sur/sirnames, he would prefer to seduce one of his brothers to shucking corn.

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