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Atlas Park

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The_Smartest: this room is so shit becasue it smells like moderator


Welcome to Atlas Park

If you aren't a troll, narcissist, or hypocrite, you've come to the wrong place. Here at Atlas Park, we begrudgingly welcome everyone, mainly because we have no choice. If you want to become an regular, reconsider. If you want to become an Moderator, it's not very hard. They really do just hand those jobs out (just kidding, we love you JeniseS, please don't silence us). If you actually manage to merit one of these titles, don't be offended when we roast you in your description. So, welcome to the Park, a pants-free adventuring environment.

Official Page Editors

blebbeh

DJ_Church

Rules

  1. Get naked.
  2. Hate all other rooms and everything they stand for. FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD!
  3. Keep your opinions to yourself unless you're fully prepared to be ferociously argued with.
  4. We're all bad people, but some of us are better at it.
  5. Meme responsibly.
  6. No, we will not add you to the regs list because you are "always on, but just gaming."

News

  • Well Atlas Park, rest in peace. We have become the type of room to have a reasonable discussion about religion. It might as well be the end of time.
  • As of 1/15/2017: The Wikia is under construction! New additions will include notable users, former moderators, historical quotes, and infamous user tropes.
  • Dang it, Donald.

Park Rangers

On Kongregate, Moderators are a lot like cops; very powerful, but not very competent. Some of them are chain-smoking homicide detectives, cynical from years on the job. Some are dirty badges, fat and lazy like spoiled cats, ready to take any size bribe to silence that guy you don't like and not lift a finger otherwise. Here at Atlas Park, it is more of an honorary title for elderly homebodies so they can lie to themselves and feel like someone loves them.

blebbeh

"i almost passed out trying to make pizza rolls" -blebbeh

If you frequent Atlas Park, you know blebbeh. Shrouded in mystery, she is the self-appointed chronicler of the happenings and personages of the room. Being as narcissistic as she is, paired with how little she cares about anyone or anything else, it is very fair to label her the sociopath to rule them all. The only tangible thing close to human feeling that can be taken from her behavior is her desperate flailing to remain #1 Motherfucker, as emphasized by the vomit of self-praise and angst in her profile's bio. Emotionless, uncaring, and yet strangely captivating, blebbeh may inspire various conflicting feelings. This will make you want to lash out, a desire you should most definitely act on, for the entertainment of the room. In her desperate attempts to keep her precious wiki neat and tidy, when not enthralled in another conversation, you'll see her randomly blurting out investigations on who has been inactive, who wants to be a reg, and who the fuck keeps putting ASCII art penises everywhere.

JeniseS

"i tell you son, you're not the best. your rappin' dont even past the test. your lyrics really arent that great. you got 15 minutes, now you have to wait" -JeniseS

Always absent when needed and needed when absent, Jenise is wise, down-to-Earth, logical, and elderly all at the same time. She may not be as active as in the past, but no moderator is more loved, an especially easy decision considering the only other moderators at hand. Most regulars, save for the few that have spent the last several years obsessing over the room, can't even recall a time when she actually used her powers as moderator. All that is left of the Jenise who moderated is the stories that we will pass to our grandchildren. Her prime concern is always making people happy, which can be a bit counterproductive when it comes to trolls, but... what the hell. All hail Jenise!

Regulars

Regulars are people who have donated little pieces of their souls and large chunks of their lives to a particular chat room. In the end, they have absolutely no reward to show for their devotion, other than a little credit. You should respect your regulars and tolerate their mindless bullshit, because you never know when they just might become a Mod and perma-ban your ass.

DJ_Church

"They'll shut down this room before I'll leave it." -DJ_Church

Atlas Park has a funny way of always drawing someone in who will act as a mature and calm force in the never-ending hurricane of rage and sex-deprived antics. DJ can be found no matter the time or place, standing in the sidelines during the most heated of flame wars and shoving in constant commentary, usually wondering why people are still so butthurt. It is true that he doesn't often share the same passion and fury that many of the other regs have... That isn't to say that he doesn't devote his passion and fury towards other things, like excellent customer service and intricate game mechanics. He has even cast his pasty hand down onto the wikia page itself; if you have a suggestion or request, he is probably your guy, since bleb is always out being a neglectful room stepmom. Just make sure to give him the proper respect he deserves... His wife sounds pretty tough, and we don't want no trouble.

Shadi_

"i marked on ur ass and i dont even speak english" -Shadi_

When Shadi (also known as Shaddam Hussein, Guranpu-senpai, and Shadway Express) is on, it is like looking through a mirror that takes you back to when Atlas Park was good. He will keep the chat rolling on with gifs from 2012 and desperate attempts to find someone who will be his anime friend. He can go on for minutes about nothing in particular, and isn't scared to chime in with his snide remarks during the awkwardest of silences. As with the best of us, Shadi is known for particular skills and characteristics; we consider him the hentai connoisseur of the room, because of his extensive knowledge and unconditional love for everything naked and animated. He has been perma-banned from Kong once or twice for taking swings at the mods out of boredom, and now lives on as Shadi_. He is still Gramps in our hearts, though... our cold, dark, sadistic hearts...

smokkin

"you can have my ass =)" -smokkin

No room is complete without its resident nerd! Mostly calm and neighborly, but occasionally mad with technological discovery or lack thereof, smokk is defined in the Park by his constant ability to help others. Whether it be that you're angry that there's no Kongregate chat app, crying because something in your house just broke, or just wishing that there was someone out there as passionate about <insert random dork material> as you are, smokk's your man. If you're ever feeling particularly parched of his presence, just stick around until the sun goes down, and wait. Chances are, he'll come out of his shell eventually, and a glorious rant about his latest project will come spilling from his genius face.

twelvedoors

"or maybe i was engaging in my trademark ribaldry" -twelvedoors

No nook or cranny of the internet is complete without an outspoken, quick-witted millennial to offer a constant pooping of commentary on the workings of the world and its disgusting underbelly. Twelve is this for us. The suffocating amounts of satire paired with his reputation as an "outsider" in the Atlas kingdom has successfully made him one of the biggest accidental trolls in the entire room. But we appreciate twelve for all of this, especially because without someone to tell us what's happening in the real world where real people live, all we would ever know is hentai and memes.

Oldies

Atlas Park was once a flourishing garden of all different types of stupid, hilarious, offensive and self-superior. However, over the years, the fires of flamewar after flamewar has left this room desolate and infertile of personality. In this section, we honor the spirit we once had.

BugsRucker - Once the resident happy, drunk uncle of Atlas Park, Bugs appealed to almost everyone and had no enemies, a concept that seems foreign to the rest of us. He left with no goodbye, and we can only assume he's off somewhere in the world, dead or making some other kids happy. :'-(

Cuxinhund - Definitely the most hated person in Atlas Park during the time he was here, Cuxinhund's existence almost immediately became a meme of deprecation and disgust for the room to rejoice in. He left as furiously and meekly as all of the other petty trolls, and while we mourn the loss of the chance to bully, none of us can say we miss the person.

iMeds - One of the only people in all of the Park with some sense of religious or otherwise ethical foundation in their bones, iMeds had a penchant for muting anyone who asked him a logical question that he deemed too heretical to merit his answer. Unfortunately, this has led to many of us finding him unsavory. We're sure he's still out there somewhere, crying into his bible and shouting to himself about how much of a "troll destroyer" he is.

Shustriy -Old in the room and easy to get to know, Shus was one of the few trolls of the room who wasn't an absolute torture to be around or talk to. He was active like no other and homoerotic enough to power a generator, but one day Shus learned that he had a potential life to live, and dipped out before any of us could mourn. Every now and again, Shus will dig himself out of his grave and come back on an alt that was once confused with a random lurker. Because of this, it is Atlas tradition to consider all familiar-sounding new users yet another embodiment of our beloved Shustriy.

tree_fiddy - Possibly the most legendary troll of history. Truly a man to behold, and in all of our hearts, even though we all got kinda annoyed and tired of the trope near the end of his reign. No man, woman, or sexually aggressive Mexican hermaphrodite will ever live up to the butthurt he rampaged throughout all the kingdoms. He was perma-banned for being such a major asshole, and while we rejoiced at the time, we still sometimes find ourselves turning to riposte one of his extremely offensive insults, only to remember that he is long gone, probably arrested for assaulting children at a nearby elementary school.

WRAIT94 - One of the most genuinely popular personalities in the entirety of Atlas Park, Wrait appeals to nearly every nook and cranny of our wonderful citizens. Whether you're "ooooh"-ing one of his sick, MLG 360 burns, in a heated argument over how libertarians are essentially Satan, or kissing his boot, chances are you've connected deeply with Wrait in some way. Nowadays, you'll commonly find him at the throat of one of the moderators arguing why rules are void of meaning. To the ladies, I pray that you try your best not to fall under the spell of his charm and testicular musk. It is... musky.

Vocab

On Kongregate chat rooms, the power of speech and articulation overcome all. However, sometimes we here at Atlas Park find the English language insufficient in expressing some concepts that are present in our everyday chatting lives. When these barriers present themselves, the pioneers come forward to usher in a new age of linguistics, birthing precious new words and phrases that are completely unique and custom fitted to our twisted, toddler-convict minds.

RUNT - Do you see someone complaining about something, but being surprisingly spare with their phrases? What we mean to say, is tigol complaining about something? Well what he's doing is going on a runt, or a short rant. This word was brought to us by our shittiest regular OtherNickName.

ex. 1) "Are you having a runt again?"

TEASH - A lovely word originating from the lovely DJ_Church. We experience our fair share of trash in the room, whether it be trash people, trash memes or actual trash. However, in the midst of all of the garbage that passes through a lifetime, one's fingers may eventually decide to become extra buttery in order to create a more perfect phrase to describe such divine excretion. Teash is our typo-slash-spinoff of "trash", to describe embracing one's own trash existence to the point of trendiness. The typo's very existence is so sloppy that it fits its own definition, which helped it fit right into the room and its excretory members.

ex. 1) "These shit-stained boyfriend jeans from Forever 69 are so teash."

ex. 2) "In Atlas Park, you aren’t considered welcome until you severely embarrass and demoralize yourself, as the community thrives on mutual teashitude."

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