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Ant Hill

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Shown: Actual picture of Epeen the Great

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EpeenModerator icon

Advocates the divine origin of monarchical rule, Epeen continued his predecessors' work of creating a centralized state governed from the capital. He sought to eliminate the remnants of feudalism persisting in parts of Ant Hill and, by compelling many members of the nobility to inhabit his lavish Private Chat Room of Versailles, succeeded in pacifying the aristocracy, many members of which had participated in the Fronde rebellion during Epeen's minority. By these means he became one of the most powerful Ant Hill monarchs and consolidated a system of absolute monarchical rule in Ant Hill that endured until the Ant Hill Revolution.

While impressive in his accomplishments, he is the result of a stereotypical monarchical family tree, rife with inbreeding to the point that it is closer in appearance to a family wreath. Sadly, this wreath and the genetic blemishes it carries with it hangs over Epeen all year round, unlike its Yule-time counterpart.

During Epeen's reign, he took a faithful concubine known as Stanwise Gamgee, AKA Standumb, AKA Standing Room Only, AKA Stanus Gapus. Under their combined homosensual reign, Ant Hill was the leading Kongregate power and it fought three major wars: the Franco-Dutch War, the War of the League of Augsburg, and the War of the Spanish Succession. There were also two lesser conflicts: the War of Devolution and the War of the Reunions. Epeen encouraged and benefited from the work of prominent political, military, and cultural figures such as Mazarin, Colbert, the Grand Condé, Turenne and Vauban, as well as Molière, Racine, Boileau, La Fontaine, Lully, Marais, Le Brun, Rigaud, Bossuet, Le Vau, Mansart, Charles and Claude Perrault, and Le Nôtre.

Upon his death just days before his seventy-seventh birthday, Epeen was succeeded by his five-year-old great-grandson, Epeen XV. All of his intermediate heirs predeceased him: his son Epeen, le Grand Dauphin; the Dauphin's eldest son Epeen, Duke of Burgundy; and Burgundy's eldest son Epeen, Duke of Brittany (the elder brother of Epeen XV).

"I fux wit da war" - Epeen

HookedonOnyxModerator icon

It is illegal to own more than 5 grams of HookedonOnyx.

KeckersModerator icon

The mod with a beard. He doles out justice like a drug dealer to an addict.

MetalrodentModerator icon

Old mod, old reg. Already following in Storageheater’s crazy footsteps. Again, be wary of links.

Stanwise Moderator icon

The best of a bad lot.

TwilightNomadModerator icon

Crazy, seems to actually like people, and get on with everyone. Talks constantly. Is invited to every wedding ever, hypothetical or not.

Regulars

141Cross

The founder of toastedpost.ca ... cool huh?

Double12222

Benches 840, nuff said. rekt. also has met Jason Segel.

Even616

Friendly neighborhood pedophile.

Mahalko128

Exists, except when doesnt.

Mancart

A rockin’ fella that’s been in Ant Hill for over a year. He might be batman with the way he dodges some questions. He's probably batman. (With a little B. Not at all like Batman).

meepola

meepola: will put "sometimes a bitch needs to get got"

also has a small dick confirmed on 5/21/2015

MoTeef

Some sort of character. Has the power to get on anyone's nerves.

MyNameIsNothing

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NecroShade666

When the going gets tough, he gets rough.

Quince1987

President (and lovely artisan) of Ant Hill.

Reno911

Notorious heartbreaker and troll at your service

Indybandit

Tries, and fails miserably, to be friends with the regulars of Ant Hill. Has been chilling on and off for over 3 years.

ShainaYoung

Looking for love. Must be into chubby.

Storageheater

Is an old reg. Has the most horrible selection of links. Very wise and considered old. Recently demodded as the admins couldn’t handle his heat.

Will1900

Probably the coolest dweeb in Anthill

ThickWhiteMilk

Resident smart guy dubbed 'cumguy' much to his ire.

Usamaalimghal

Practical Assassin.

Pazo

He says some funny stuff. Sometimes.

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